Good day, tators! Well, I think that I am living in a dream...It is 60 fabu degrees, the sun is a shinning is warm goodness, and the birdies are a singing a sweet song. Yesterday, I was driving with my windows down in my car and enjoying every minute of it. However, I am sure the nightmare of gloomy Hot-Lanta winter weather is going to return, oh too soon.
Anywho...
Let's continue the story of Mad Marj's visit. Well, the next day I got up early and decided that I was going to tire HER out so SHE could not start any trouble. And, because my trainer killed me at the gym on Wednesday and running was not an option because everything from my waist down was in total achy pain, I made of up my mind that I would take HER for a very long walk; 3.1 miles.
Well...
the walk was successful; and SHE was pooped the rest of the day. All SHE really wanted to do was watch her soaps and talk on the phone to HER ex-husband that still lives with her (NOTE: Do not even ask!). So, I rinsed and repeated the whole walk thing the next day (NOTE: I still could not run because I still could not feel my lower limbs!). And it worked again!!! All my mortal life I searched for the secrete to wearing HER out so SHE could not bee-otch and all I had to do was walk her like a dog. Who knew?!
But...
Saturday, I was ready to run, barley, and SHE dug HER heals in and refused to walk anymore. So, Carl-E and I went for a run, and after that we decide to pick up breakfast.
And this is where everything fell apart...
I called HER up to ask HER what SHE wanted for breakfast. To which SHE replied a well done plain bagel. Now, from experience I know that SHE likes HER bagels practically charred. However, I also know from my travels that Einstien's does not make any bagel well done. I tried to explain to HER that HER bagel would not be well done. "Not Well Done" must of been the magic phrase because SHE flipped. "I WANT A WELL DONE BAGEL!!!" I tried to calm HER down, but if did not work, she just kept going on and on about how SHE knows that they have well done bagels, etc. etc. etc. I held the phone away from my ear so that Carl-E could partake in the ass-chewing I was receiving. Why should I have all the fun, right?!
So...
When we get to the shop, there was not a nearly well done bagel to be found. When we got home, the shee-ite hit the fan. SHE started yelling about how I did not try to get HER a well done bagel, and that I am disrespectful to HER, and blah, blah, blah!!! I just stood there and thought "What the fudge?!" And then, Carl-E stepped in and told HER that we did our best and SHE piped down. There is a God!!!
The plan...
for HER last day was to go to the movies. While at the movies (NOTE: DO not see Sherlock Holmes; it sucked), SHE huffed and puffed through the whole movie (NOTE: Due to these noises I just knew the bagel issue was not dead). When we get home, SHE brings the whole bagel issue up again, and then that leads into HER dragging up things from the past, such as how I could not wait to leave home as soon as I turned 18 (NOTE: True), and how I really did not want to see HER (NOTE: Kind of true) and so on and so forth. I just sat there slack jawed, and then my blood began to boil. Carl-E must of sensed something was going to go down because he tapped HER on the shoulder and told HER to calm down. SHE stopped talking but SHE continued to glare at me with rage in HER eyes!
The...
rest of the night I was quiet because every time I went to open my mouth Carl-E shot me a look as to say, "Do not go there!" SHE was pretty quiet too, except when she was gabbing to HER ex-husband (NOTE: They talk at least 8 times a day, and about what; who knows?!).
Next Morning...
SHE left really early, too early to start in again; at least I thought. As SHE was leaving SHE turned to me and said, "I know they have well done bagels!," and got in HER car. Damn HER for getting the last word!!!
Stick a fork in me because I am DONE!!!
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