Ciao tators! Carl-E and I are off to Roma. Right now we are waiting for our flight to Newark. I am enjoying a nice ice coffee while Carl-E is reading a book about frozen dead people on a moutain.
So...
While in the wayyyyy toooooo looooong security line I encountered Mrs TB (note: TB stands for her tory burch flip flops; which I have two pair but mine are last summer; boo-hoo)
Anywho...
I do not think Ms TB travels much because she was takin foreva to decide what to put in her zip lock baggy; in went the lipstick, out came the hairspray (note: not regulation size) back in went the face cream. By the time she decided to put the hairspray in the bag I had stripped off my new puma flats (note: did you expect not to travel in style), my CandC jacket and placed my fun and fashionable LeSportsac backpack in my bin.
Ms TB still was not makin any progress nor any friends and the line was gettin really behind me; I could hear the huffin and puffin from the people behind me, so I deceided to go around her.
She did not like this because as I did she whispered to her plaid clad, pop collar polo wearing boy toy "no patients" Just before I said "who the f' do you think you are" the security lady yells to me "you go girl; you go!"
I turned to Ms TB with a big smile and said "See! I was not the only one who thought you were slow!" Hee Hee!
I saw only one face maskin wearing fool so far and a prisoner; never saw one in the airport before; cuffs but no bright orange jumper!
Ciao!
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Thursday, April 16, 2009
April 16: Do Not Tread On Moi!
"Happy National Stress Awareness Day and National Eggs Benedict Day!" Ok, I do not need a national day that focuses on stress, do you tators?! I think the constant grinding of my teeth while I slumber is a pretty good awareness-meter of my stress. In addition, the meds rainbow that adorns my bathroom cabinet from my supplier, oh I mean MD is just a teeny-weeny indicator of how stress is a major playa in my existence. As far as eggs Benedict; yucky-yucky-yuck! I tried them once and I thought it was the grosses thing I have ever consumed (NOTE: Being hung over from a beer blurred evening probably did not help)! National-Bank-of-Ed was a big fan of the sliminess that is Benedict, but the Benedict gene was not passed on to moi.
So...
Your girl braved the crowds and attended the Tea Party. I have to admit, that I was very leary at first because I do not do the whole crowd thing very well.
Let's jump in the time machine...
while at the 3rd Lalapolza I was trying to get near the stage to see God-knows-Who. It was August in Orlando, so it was ballz hot, like a 100000 degrees. When the band came on stage, everyone surge forward; I actually found myself with my feets off the ground. When the pushing stopped, I'z did not feel too fabu. I told my friends that I thought I was going to pass out and with that said I did. I woke up laying half on a piece of cardboard next to a mud infested mosh pit, I was quickly receiving a mud facial from all the mud being splashed on me.
Well...
when Carl-E said he wanted to check out the Tea Party, I had flash backs to the mud pit and when I saw that they estimated between 5000-10000 bodies in attendance, I was like "Oh, hellz no!"
But...
after some coaxing, I caved in like a crevasse. We were going to take Marta, instead of driving. And Marta stops running at 9pm, so I knew we could not stay that long.
I pick out...
my outfit and was ready to go at 7pm. Carl-E , his friend, and moi get on Marta to head to the State capital building. As we were walking, I realized I had made a huge fashion faux pas; I did not wear red! Red was the color-scheme of choice for this soiree. But, no fear, I was prepared because I had my red lipstick compact and blackcherry in my LV travel bag (NOTE: Yes, I have a special LV that I use on trips; it crosses over the body and has the cutest flap closure.). As we approach the capital from over four blocks away we spied the crowd. I begin to quake in my puma flats (NOTE: I am breaking them in for my trip to Rome, because I cannot wear kicks to Bennie's casa).
I...
ask Carl-E if we can hang towards the back. I took out my blackcherry and begin snapping photos of all the signs. Some where really funny, such as "Both Parties Suck" and "Coffee is Better than TEA!" Only one true Southern boy broke out the "Stars and Bars" (NOTE: I all I could think of is this is the photo that will appear on every major newspaper across the country! With the caption "If Taxes keep rising will the South rise again?!").
As the...
crowd began to grow, I started to get that queezy feeling. So, I switch my focus to people watching. There were lots of ladies sporting tea bag earrings and paper tea cup hats jauntily placed on their heads (NOTE: I hope this trend NEVA catches on). Men with funny star sunglasses (NOTE: Only Bootsy Collins can carry that off). As the crowd got tighter and tighter, I could no longer even see up, but then I spotted HIM!
It was...
the most magnification comb-over I have ever witnessed. Trump has nothing on this guy's coiffure. The comb over started just above his left ear and reached clear across his chrome dome. But right above his left ear he had about an inch of closely clipped hair to give the illusion that he had a buzz cut. It was genius! (NOTE: To see photos; visit my FB page!). After I marvfeled at his merical of styling, I knew I had seen it all and it was time to jet.
Gotts to bounce!
So...
Your girl braved the crowds and attended the Tea Party. I have to admit, that I was very leary at first because I do not do the whole crowd thing very well.
Let's jump in the time machine...
while at the 3rd Lalapolza I was trying to get near the stage to see God-knows-Who. It was August in Orlando, so it was ballz hot, like a 100000 degrees. When the band came on stage, everyone surge forward; I actually found myself with my feets off the ground. When the pushing stopped, I'z did not feel too fabu. I told my friends that I thought I was going to pass out and with that said I did. I woke up laying half on a piece of cardboard next to a mud infested mosh pit, I was quickly receiving a mud facial from all the mud being splashed on me.
Well...
when Carl-E said he wanted to check out the Tea Party, I had flash backs to the mud pit and when I saw that they estimated between 5000-10000 bodies in attendance, I was like "Oh, hellz no!"
But...
after some coaxing, I caved in like a crevasse. We were going to take Marta, instead of driving. And Marta stops running at 9pm, so I knew we could not stay that long.
I pick out...
my outfit and was ready to go at 7pm. Carl-E , his friend, and moi get on Marta to head to the State capital building. As we were walking, I realized I had made a huge fashion faux pas; I did not wear red! Red was the color-scheme of choice for this soiree. But, no fear, I was prepared because I had my red lipstick compact and blackcherry in my LV travel bag (NOTE: Yes, I have a special LV that I use on trips; it crosses over the body and has the cutest flap closure.). As we approach the capital from over four blocks away we spied the crowd. I begin to quake in my puma flats (NOTE: I am breaking them in for my trip to Rome, because I cannot wear kicks to Bennie's casa).
I...
ask Carl-E if we can hang towards the back. I took out my blackcherry and begin snapping photos of all the signs. Some where really funny, such as "Both Parties Suck" and "Coffee is Better than TEA!" Only one true Southern boy broke out the "Stars and Bars" (NOTE: I all I could think of is this is the photo that will appear on every major newspaper across the country! With the caption "If Taxes keep rising will the South rise again?!").
As the...
crowd began to grow, I started to get that queezy feeling. So, I switch my focus to people watching. There were lots of ladies sporting tea bag earrings and paper tea cup hats jauntily placed on their heads (NOTE: I hope this trend NEVA catches on). Men with funny star sunglasses (NOTE: Only Bootsy Collins can carry that off). As the crowd got tighter and tighter, I could no longer even see up, but then I spotted HIM!
It was...
the most magnification comb-over I have ever witnessed. Trump has nothing on this guy's coiffure. The comb over started just above his left ear and reached clear across his chrome dome. But right above his left ear he had about an inch of closely clipped hair to give the illusion that he had a buzz cut. It was genius! (NOTE: To see photos; visit my FB page!). After I marvfeled at his merical of styling, I knew I had seen it all and it was time to jet.
Gotts to bounce!
Thursday, April 9, 2009
April 9: Pollen, pollen everywhere...
Hello there, tators and "Happy Winston Churchill Day and Name Yourself Day." So if you are feeling like you want to be a leader of some country that is in the middle of some war today is your day to implement a coup and/or if you feel that "Sally" no longer fits your edgy persona; change it to Apple, Orange, Pear, or Banana.
Well...
I have been fightin the endless war with pollen. I am sad to report that I am losing terribly. See, here in Hot-Lanta when the slightest sign of Spring appears, everything with a cell wall and chloroplasts goes nuts! Pollen thickly covers everything more than the powder on Queen Elizabeth's born-again-virgin face! At one time I did have a matallic black car, now it is mustard yellow; yucky yucky poo! And it makes no sense to take it down to Avril's to have it rinsed, washed, buffed, and waxed because by 2pm, it will be yellow again. I much rather spend that money on a new lipstick!
When...
I lived in F-L-A, I had a little itchy eye here; a little runny nose there; ya know nothing a Clariton could not clear up in a jiffy! But here in the A-T-L, pollen laughs in the face of Clariton; Ha! Ha! Nothing I ingest or snort will take away all my symptoms, but tators, your girl never gives up the good fight. I continue my pavement pounding despite after 4 miles I look like I have jaundices, because I am covered in a fine mist of you-know-what!
So...
Saturday Carl-E and I embark on our usual routine; running at the park and then breakfast at Einstein's. So, about 1/4 way into my run I begin to wheeze. No biggy; I spit out my delish fruit-flavored gum that I always chew while I run, so I do not get dry mouth because unlike normal people, I cannot run and breath out my nose, I have to breath out of my mouth. But, that does not stop the wheezing.
Next...
I start to get a tigh feeling in my chest. "OMG! I am having a coronary!" was my first thought. Want to know my second thought??? "I cannot die I am going shoe shoppin for my new Christian Louboutins this afternoon; I have waiting all year for them!" So, I stop running start pacing back in forth while murmuring to myself like a crazy (NOTE: Sandrine that one was for you!) while trying to control my anxiety. And with no Xanx, that is pretty difficult my tators.
Then I see...
Carl-E heading down the path. He stops when he sees me and asks me what's wrong. In between wheezes, I tell him the 411. He tells me to walk the rest of the way and leaves me in his dust (NOTE: That was more than likely 99.9% pollen). I think he thinks I am heartier than I really am, but then I have climbed numerious moutains in sub-zero weather.
I start...
to inform myself; allowd; to I am not a whimpy-whimp, suck it up, and not to let itty-bitty pollen put a damper on my day. So, I slowly start back up; wheezed my way through the rest of the run (NOTE: Go me! Go me! Go me!) and later on that day brought my shoes!
And...
yes they are tres fabu!
Here is a funny urban word of the day for those of you that work in offices:
notice me e-mail
In the age of telecommuting, an e-mail message sent either early in the morning, or late at night, with the subtle intent of revealing the fact that the sender was logged on and working at the time the message was sent, hidden within the context of a more "official" looking message.
(an example "notice me e-mail")
From: Molly Worker
To: dev_group@mycompany.org
Date: 03/27/05 23:17:04 EST
Subject: Deliverable deadline
Hi all... I just wanted to let you all know that I have received most of your status reports, but that the deliverable deadline is fixed. Therefore, if you will not be able to make the deadline, please adjust your status report schedule to fit the deadline.
Thanks!
--
Molly Worker
Well...
I have been fightin the endless war with pollen. I am sad to report that I am losing terribly. See, here in Hot-Lanta when the slightest sign of Spring appears, everything with a cell wall and chloroplasts goes nuts! Pollen thickly covers everything more than the powder on Queen Elizabeth's born-again-virgin face! At one time I did have a matallic black car, now it is mustard yellow; yucky yucky poo! And it makes no sense to take it down to Avril's to have it rinsed, washed, buffed, and waxed because by 2pm, it will be yellow again. I much rather spend that money on a new lipstick!
When...
I lived in F-L-A, I had a little itchy eye here; a little runny nose there; ya know nothing a Clariton could not clear up in a jiffy! But here in the A-T-L, pollen laughs in the face of Clariton; Ha! Ha! Nothing I ingest or snort will take away all my symptoms, but tators, your girl never gives up the good fight. I continue my pavement pounding despite after 4 miles I look like I have jaundices, because I am covered in a fine mist of you-know-what!
So...
Saturday Carl-E and I embark on our usual routine; running at the park and then breakfast at Einstein's. So, about 1/4 way into my run I begin to wheeze. No biggy; I spit out my delish fruit-flavored gum that I always chew while I run, so I do not get dry mouth because unlike normal people, I cannot run and breath out my nose, I have to breath out of my mouth. But, that does not stop the wheezing.
Next...
I start to get a tigh feeling in my chest. "OMG! I am having a coronary!" was my first thought. Want to know my second thought??? "I cannot die I am going shoe shoppin for my new Christian Louboutins this afternoon; I have waiting all year for them!" So, I stop running start pacing back in forth while murmuring to myself like a crazy (NOTE: Sandrine that one was for you!) while trying to control my anxiety. And with no Xanx, that is pretty difficult my tators.
Then I see...
Carl-E heading down the path. He stops when he sees me and asks me what's wrong. In between wheezes, I tell him the 411. He tells me to walk the rest of the way and leaves me in his dust (NOTE: That was more than likely 99.9% pollen). I think he thinks I am heartier than I really am, but then I have climbed numerious moutains in sub-zero weather.
I start...
to inform myself; allowd; to I am not a whimpy-whimp, suck it up, and not to let itty-bitty pollen put a damper on my day. So, I slowly start back up; wheezed my way through the rest of the run (NOTE: Go me! Go me! Go me!) and later on that day brought my shoes!
And...
yes they are tres fabu!
Here is a funny urban word of the day for those of you that work in offices:
notice me e-mail
In the age of telecommuting, an e-mail message sent either early in the morning, or late at night, with the subtle intent of revealing the fact that the sender was logged on and working at the time the message was sent, hidden within the context of a more "official" looking message.
(an example "notice me e-mail")
From: Molly Worker
To: dev_group@mycompany.org
Date: 03/27/05 23:17:04 EST
Subject: Deliverable deadline
Hi all... I just wanted to let you all know that I have received most of your status reports, but that the deliverable deadline is fixed. Therefore, if you will not be able to make the deadline, please adjust your status report schedule to fit the deadline.
Thanks!
--
Molly Worker
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