Greetings from the icebox that is my humble abode, tators! I am typing furiously to keep the blood flowing in my on the verge of frost bite fingers. I am about to go into my dirt cellar and break our my rated 0 degree down parka; it is that m-f'in cold. It is almost too cold to be cute! Can you beleive?!
Well, today is national Occult Day. So, burn some black candles, draw a pentagram on your floor, and put on some Sioux and the Banshees and do a little demonic dance! (NOTE: Please forgo the token animal, virgin, or small child sacrifice; it can be a bit too messy!)
Let's travel on...
Well, I have fabu news! After search the internet feveriously, combing throw page after page of Google results, I located Astrid! This is bigger than the finding the terra cotta warriers, King Tut's tomb, the holy grail, and Davey Jone's locker, all wrapped up and presented with a big, pink, organiza bow under my bed! Astrid is every thing and more. She is 7" tall of spotted fierceness, and comes with a bad ass jammy to put a cap in a poacher's ass! I L-O-V-E HER!
Speakin' of the boy king, King Tut...
I went to the King Tut exhibition today with one of my work-out partners. It was so phenomenal. But, I need to tell you about our greeter. He was by far, the hit of the exhibition.
So let me paint you a picture...
When you enter the exhibition, you enter a dimly lit room that has three flat screen tvs. Now, we went early, so it was only two of us in this vast room. Actually, I felt just a tad bit awkward standing in the middle of this large empty room. While waiting for the video, I began to do the uncomfortable weight shifting from leg to leg dance (NOTE: I know, you know which dance I am talking about!).
However...
Before the video began, a young man emerged from a dark corner, raised his arms in front of him in a "Welcome my friends" fashion. A spot light clicked on and illuminated his, big Kool-Aid grin face, and then he belted out, "Welcome ladies, to King Tut!" I almost expect for the sound of voices to sing that angelic/heavenly canned movie music, "Ahh Ahh Ah!" This guy was so into it, I would of swore he was going to slip in to a Shakespearean dialog from "Macbeth" or maybe a Abba tune from "Mama Mia" complete with jazz hands! He continue his dialog with his bright, gleaming choppers. When he finished, I wanted to do a golf clap, and let him bow. He was magnificent. I can imagine him practicing his form over and over again in his mirror! He had to be an out-of-work actor, because he performed as if his Oscar nomination was totally weighing on this one run through.
On the other side...
I swam today. Everyone was inside, oh because outside it was Antarctica cold (NOTE: Ya know opposite of Africa hot!). Now, I have no problem swimming in a group, but the "Lady" does. I knew there would be drama. However, your chickie sucked it up and decided that I would be a "the glass is half-full" gal and not let her ruin my workout with her bitching and moaning. After our warm up, and first exercise, we had to start our laps. There were four of us in the lane (NOTE: One of the people was Carl-E, but he has not graduated to a full work out; basically we all ignored him while we did our laps; poor Carl-e he's too slow!).
Anywho...
Let's call him "Dad;" he was our fearless leader. Next, was Lady, then your dime, and turtle Carl-E. Dad took off, then lady, and then me. Within a few second I was at her feet. Now, I know that I said I would be sugar, spice, and everything nice, but I could not resist; I hit her foot. And guess what? She went faster! Next time I caught up to her, I hit her foot again, and away she went. After the first 200, she was huffing and puffing and complaining about how she could not breath. Dad ignored her whining, and away he went to start the second 200.
Well...
Half way through the second 200, Dad fell short of breath, so he began to walk the lap rather than swim. Well, Lady stopped, causing me to stop, and Carl-E was way back lost in our dust. I ask her what was wrong, and she tares into a tizzy about how Dad cut the lane, was not a good leader, too many people were inside, blah, blah, blah. I just stood there while she ran her mouth. Finally I said, "Are we going to swim or stand?" And with that, she took off. Let's just say for the rest of the workout, I kept hitting her foot and kept her tush in motion!
Do an old school dance!
Catch you on the flip side!
Jammy
A gun; old school term
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