Happy Friday and Happy "National Hoodie Hoo Day!" Hoodie Hoo Day is when you go outside and yell, "Hoodie Hoo" to make winter go away. I tried it, and it is still freezing. So, the fool that had the nuts to copyright this day should has his or her buttass kicked! But I do like the word, it is kind of fun! I have to apologize for making you wait for another cruise installment, but Carl-E has me running all over Hot-Lanta for this little dinner party he his hosting tomorrow night. The things you do for love...
Ok, here we go...
It is Saturday...
and the sun is a shining, the sea gulls are a screamin' "Mine! Mine! Mine!" and the scammers are out full force; ready to try to lift all of our American dollas for some lame ride around the island! But, before we can tell the scammers to "Take their fantastic Bahamin accent and step off" we must take 50 million photographs with the cruise line's photographers.
First...
It is the dolphin that looks like the 1972 moth-eaten mascot uniform from the local high school that has been stored in the gym locker room; this poor man must of been roastin' in that suit because it was just a tad bit warm. Sensing his misery, Carla gave his back fin a little squeeze.
B...
It was the lonely photographer that had no props; so we had no time for his lame ass.
3...
It was the makeshift railing-thingy with the faux life preserver. We all struck a pose, waved "Adios" to our adoring fans and the paparazzi and sauntered to the shops.
Strolling...
down the street we examined the numerous chochkees that every beach town has for the "fools-and-their-money-are-soon-parted" tourists. There was the token circa 1980's postcards that has the girl in the florescent thong and just a touch of sand on her badonk. The shot glasses with the "Bahama Mama" in cherry, bright colors that wash off in the dishwasher or that break in your suitcase on the way back to your land locked town in the middle of nowhere. And the piece-de-resistance the tacky, tacky t-shirts (NOTE: We almost succumbed to the tourist tackiness and brought matching shirts, but by some divine intervention there were not enough for us!).
After...
peering at all these "goodies" we decided to hit the straw market. If you have never been, you imagine a flea market with rows and rows of stuff. Now, shrink the rows, so that two people can barely pass each other with out touching some body part. Now fill the shelves very imaginable knock-off designer handbag made by the little hands of poor Chinese child laberors, shell jewelry, and a billzion straw bags, hats, and even napkin rings! While searching for our treasures, and being cat-called after; "Pretty Lady, what do you like?, Today I give you for $5" we became separated. After search high, and searching low, and all around the mulberry bush, we could not find Nyia and Carla. So, I turned to Sophie, Fran and Yvette and said, "Would it be mean if we just left them?" And with out missing a beat, Fran replied, "No!"
Off to...
Senor Frogs we went to have a bit of nosh and brews. While we were eating, there were triva games being played and if you got the correct answer, you got a free shot. There was this one lady, who will refer to as "She-who-will-fall-on-her-face" was getting everyone right; she possed more unusful knowledge than your's truly! Now, noticing that she was not in her 20's but probally late 40's and by the looks of it she had not cut loose from her sububan life in ages, she was out to tear it back with a vengance. And her husband was encouraging it 1000%! Well, it was Velentine's Day and I am so sure he wanted to hit that back on the ship! (NOTE: You are probally wondering what Carl-E did since his fabu wife was on a cruise; he did what ever non-date havin' man does on Valentine's Day, go to a strip bar!)
After...
We ate, I tried, I mean really tried to buy these fierce Gucci shoes I saw in a magazine, but they did not have them; boo-hoo! Next, we toured the Atlantis, and returned to the boat. The four of us split up to do our own thang for a bit. I caught up with Frannie, spotted Carla and Nyia, and then Sophie and yvette.
Well...
Nyia got a new tattoo; her zodiac symbol for Caner, or as the locals called it "69!" Her and Carla hooked up with some guy and partook in a few drinks at Senor Frogs. While they were there, a cart came out. Now imagin a long cart to stack boxes. But this cart is painted in wild colors and has the Senor Frog's logo all over. Nyia's new friend makes a comment that he had not seen that cart for a while. A few minutes later, the cart returns with a person on it. Before Nyia could continue the story I asked her, was the person it a woman with blond hair, wearing a hat, and a black short sleeve t? To which Nyia said, "YES!"
So tators, guess who was laying on the cart like a side of beef...
"She-who-will-fall-on-her-face"
They had to wheel her alcohol soak ass back to the ship. Her poor husband was not getting any booty that night!
And I am off to Target to pick up more plates, because I am not using the good China.
Hit me on the hip!
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