Happy "Hump Day" Tators and "Happy Pistol Patent Day (Samuel Colt)"; it's a two-fer day! So, if you need to break out your deuce-deuce and take out that co-worker who keeps using your fav coffee mug with the kitten and hearts on it; today is your day! If you need to flash your Hello Kitty AK-47 (NOTE: And "YES" they do make these; I asked for one but Carl-e said I do not need it) at the nasty sales lady at Neimans who would not call another store to find out if they had the Fendi flats that you really did not need; well go for it (NOTE: Does this story sound familiar?!). And if you just want to have some fun and whip out the super soaker and loving dretch the people that you do not love; go for it!
Ok, the last full day...
we were to spend it soaking up the sun on the cruise line's island. We awaoke early, filled out bellies with yummy breakfast vittles, and boarded the boat to the island. Apon walking on the soft sand (NOTE: Not that gritty Florida sand that sticks to everything and is so itchy!) we encounted a sea of lounge chairs. We staked out our land, and sat our tushes down, made freinds with the server boy, and had frosty beers in our hands by 10:30!
The weather...
was perfect; a cool breeze and warm sun. So, we decided to switch up our drinkin' a bit and order fancy-smanshy tropicaly island drinks. I ordered a "Pain in the Ass" (NOTE: Half Rum Runner and half Pina Colda; so luscious), Sophie, Nyia, Yevette had Bahama Moma's, I think Frannie has a Margarita, and as far as Carl I have no clue. Now, when you are dishin' out 10 dollas for a drink you expect to get a decent amount of liquid courage.
So...
Sophie snapped her Theta fingers and next thing we knew, we had more delish rum in our drinky-poos! Now, siting behind us were some guys. They were not working on at the bar because they were not sporting the nifty yellow polos and we did not think they were on the cruise. When Nyia got up, she was flashing her new tattoo,; the symbol for Caner; then we heard the now legendary cat call, "69! 69!"
At first...
we ignored them, but then it was like they were everywhere that we were asking, "Where is 69?" Finally, to assume ourselves, we began to talk to them. It winds up that they were island security! Can you believe?! Well, one of them took aliken to Sophie. And, what does a proper man that wants to court you do? Well, show you a naked photo of himself on his cell phone of course! No lie, homies! And, I can say he does not know about man-scaping! Come on it is 2009!
Now...
Blue/Black (NOTE: He had the darkest, prettiest color skin, so Nyia knighted him Blue/Black) took alikin to Carla. Now, Carla has been learning how to booty clap, and I knew she had had a few drinks, so I gave her my IPod and let her throw her azz around the beach to the Ying Yang Twins. I thought Frannie was going to die trying to get Carla to stop shaking that jelly!
Back to Sophie...
and her new beau. He was totally mac'in' on her. He might not groom, but he must be smooth, because next thing we know they are married and we are getting free beers! Then it was time to leave the island and return to the boat. Sophie said farwell to her new husband and I grabbed the rest of the free beers.
It was one of the best trips I ever took, and I cannot wait until next year. Yes, ladies and gents this will be a yearly deal!
Peace out, mo fos!
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