Happy Friday and "National Escape Day!" So if you are currently a prisoner and need to get out of Dodge; today is the day you have been waiting for; run, Forrest, run! Hey, your captures have to let it you, it is National Escape Day and all!
Well, many of my dear Tators sent me questions, concerns, and comments about last evening's post. So, I've decided to set the record straight, so you will not lose anymore Zzzz's worrying your pretty little heads off about my well being. Thank you so much for your concerns; you are all too kind!
1. Are an alcoholic?
Well...No, I, "hick-hick-hick" I think. Back in the day when I was kickin' it Jersey-style I would say "Yes!" But, now my lifestyle and liver could not deal with excess amounts of excess. I do not think you'll see me on an episode of "Intervention" anytime soon. However, I am known to enjoy an adult beverage once in a while, especially after climbing the highest summit in Europe; now that was a par-thay; Russian beer and belly dancers is all you need to know!
B. How much did you really consume before you were pulled over?
This is an easy one; two glasses of red healthy-for-your-heart wine over a 4 hour period. Now, according to my calculations done on my Hello Kitty calculator, that's about 3oz every hour; or 1.5oz every half an hour; not bad, not bad!
Trois. What did you get pulled over for?
Well, I was just at the right place at the right time, but the prize was not a pair of Christian Louboutin black patten, hidden platform, sling-backs; it was two yellow tickets! Yippy-F'in-Skippy! She just randomly ran my tag and her computer told her I was a bad, bad, girl that was rollin' without a valid licenses, no registration or insurance. But, the computer was WRONG-O! I made many of furious and feaverish calls the next day and the mistake is the City of Hot-Lanta. But, I still have to go to court, because "The Man" said so. They should be thankful that the CP was already empty, so I just penciled them in.
5. What about the fire arms?
I did not have them; Carl-E did. Georgia is a reciprocal state with FLA. Even if the lady-in-blue ran the serials numbers, there would of not been any problems. Hey, you gotts to pack heat when you are a cruise in the ATL, you just never know when you will have to pop a cap in someone's ass! That's how I roll, sucka!
C. Where able to drive home?
Oh yeah! Now, some people were very surprised by this because I had no ID. But, I just stepped up to the po-po and said, "Check this out chica, yous gonna let me drive my ride to my casa, cause my babies are a waitin' for their mama." Translation: I have no idea why she let me drive home, but she did.
6. Where you really texting while you were pulled over?
Oh, hellz ya! I now got this Blackcherry thingy down tight! How else was I supposed to communicate with my other half; who's best words of advise were "Eat Mints!". I assumed the blackberry pray position as soon as I shut my car off. I even posted to Facebook just in case I had to have someone wire me money to spring me from the slamma. But on the seriously tip, Carl-E do not have any fams in the ATL, so it we were hauled away to the big house, we would be screwed with a capital "SCREWED!"
Well, tators, I hope this 411 eases your mind. So, it is Friday, drink 'em if you got 'em!
And I out.
BlackBerry Prayer
The supplicating position one assumes when grasping the popular six-ounce wireless combination e-mailer/phone known as the BlackBerry between your palms and thumb-tapping messages on its QWERTY keyboard.
No comments:
Post a Comment