There is a naked lady at the pool. Every gym/workout place has one. Actually, there are many naked ladies, but they dress themselves in a timely manor. Usually, The Naked Lady prances around with her goodies on display, takes part in long group conservations (NOTE: Sometimes with one leg propped of casually on a bench), and blow drys her hair in her birthday suit.
Now, I am comfortable with the naked body being an art connaisseur and all. But, when things are swingin' and bouncin' constantly in your line sight it is hard to divert your eyes. Sometimes I think she has a twin, because once when I turned to my right to avoid a visual collision with bits and parts The Naked Lady was right in front of my face. I quickly dropped my gaze, muttered "Excuse me, " and proceed to rub my eyes feverishly to remove the image from my rods, cones, and cornea.
On theory is that is that The Naked Lady is allergic to clothes. If any remnant of a woven fabric, whether it be sisal cloth from the Congo or the finest silk from hand raise worms from a remote mountain village in Japan her skin begins to bubble and dissolve into a thick goo. Another one is she was forced to sell her wardrobe on EBay because she needs to buy gas to get to work (NOTE: I would not doubt this one, especially the cost of gas. My shoe fund as been drastically been reduced since I had to have petrol to get Carl-E's dry cleaning and run other various earns). My last theory is that a swarm of clothes eating moths had a all-you-can-eat buffet in her closet and she cannot afford new clothes because she as to pay for her gym membership (NOTE: Being fit and health maybe a priority in her life; you never know!).
I know she is not allergic to non-Egyptian cotton, over-bleached gym towels, because she wraps her hair in it. Maybe she is afraid of catching a cold or she's embarrassed that her gray roots are showing. One day, The Naked Lady dropped her towel in front of me. The sight that I witnessed has scared me for life. Now, I suffer from night terrors and have an extreme phobia of white cotton towels.
Maybe The Naked Lady suffers from Ground Hog Day syndrome (NOTE: Ya know repeating the same day over and over again.)
Naked Day
A day when you are the only person who turns up to work (e.g. a public holiday, graveyard shift, or similar), and no one else is going to be around, so you decide that it's safe to declare the whole day clothing-optional. Can be done for reasons of heat, humidity, & comfort; or out of sheer apathy.
See ya later tators!
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