Bon Jour, tators!
Well, I have a new obsession. And, I have my friend/trainer to thank for it. Now, I know you thinking that it must be fantastically healthy, positively soul-cleansing, and fabulously mind-expanding.
WRONG!
She got me addicted to "The Real Housewives of Atlanta" on Bravo. Now, I absolutely love hard-core trashy reality TV, such as "Rock of Love" and "Celebrity Rehab." I love to have a good chuckle at other people expenses. This might sound very non-christian of me, but oh well so I might spend a few days in purgatory when I leave this orb.
However, TRHA (NOTE: That's what the hip kids call it) is an hour of pure vapidness, over-the-top opulence, and no-ruler-can-measure self-centeredness. My trainer was telling me about the LV that one of these "housewives" brought her 11 year old daughter for her birthday (NOTE: The whole party cost 18,000 green backs; and no that is not a type-o it was 18,000 bills; now that's some mad cheddar!) while I was doing pull-downs. Because the little girl got a LV, my curiosity was peaked. I did not get my first LV until I was 30!
So, when I got home I went on the Bravo site and watched the clips that were available. OMG, Tators! These women are so ridiculous, that I thought it has to be fake. But, the more I watched the more I realized that these women are so far removed from the rest of the world, that if you asked them to name the current President, they would stare at you with a dopey blank stare from their false-eye lashed rimmed eyes, but if you asked them to name all the high-end store in Lenox Mall, they could do it standing on their heads; wait that might rip their weaves out. (NOTE: I can name all the high-end stores, too. But, I do know who the Preseident is; Bill W. Carter Sr.! I kid; I kid!)
Anywho...
I has to see more, so I DVR'ed the first two episodes of the show. The next day, I sat down with a hot cup of tea (NOTE: It is chilly here in Hot-Lanta) and I was glued to the TV for over an hour (NOTE: The show is an hour, I fast-forward through the commercials.) It was like looking at a car crash; I could not look away no matter hoe ugly these women acted.
Let me give you examples:
- One woman has three kids, and her husband is a Baller (Note: That's Basket Ball), her house is over 15,000 square feet, and she feels like she is a single parent because her hubby is away for 6 days a week (NOTE: this is only for the season), she need a nanny, governess (Note: What the f&^k does a governess even do?), chef, house maid, a personal assistant, and a make-up and hair stylist (NOTE: The hair stylist and the make-up artist make her up EVERYDAY in her at-home salon) to help her, because she cannot do it all herself
- Another woman is going through a divorce from her Football husband, she keeps repeating that she wants a 7 figure lump sum to maintain her lifestyle(NOTE: Oh yeah, and the kids, too), she has a stylist, a shoe stylist (NOTE: That brings the shoes to her house), a personal assistant, and a publicist (NOTE: She is not famous at all; well in her own mind she is)
All these women are friends (Note: I use this term very loosely). They talk smack about each other to the camera constantly. They are always trying to one up each other with their clothes, bags, shoes, jewelry, cars, houses, and egos.
Today, I watched episode three and once again I was glued. It's like crack; I cannot get enough even thou I totally despise these women (NOTE: One I do like, because she seams more "real;" like her and I could totally hang out and talk smack about the other women; oh wait that would make me just as catty!)
So, the question is "Am I a hater?" I am proud to say that I am; kind of. I hate them for being self-centered and try to make like their situations are more important than the rest of the world. Oh poor baby, she cannot find a nanny so she has to dress her kids and take then to school, boo f'in hoo, bee-otch! I hate the fact that they put materials things in front of everything else, like when one of the woman's daughter's need help getting into a car, but mommy could not help her because she would mess up her shoes on the dirty driveway! I hate the fact that they think they are more important than everyone else, so what if you get invited to fancy-pants parties, I rather drink a beer, play darts, and hang with people who like me for me, not my bank account. If I ever acted like these women, my father would come down from his heavenly boat filled with blonds and beer and pimp slap me up-side my head. I would like to drop off their asses in some of the villages I saw in Africa and see how they do with no electricity, no running water, a mud hut, 50 heads of cattle and 5 other wives. Now that would be a cat fight!
So, will I continue to watch; YES! Will I continue to hate; well, YES!
Hey they opened the door, so I am steppin' on in!
Peace out, mo' fo's!
Chedder
A large amount of money
I cashed my check so, I could have some chedder
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