Howdy, tators! It is "Happy Bunsen Burner Day and National Clams On The Half Shell Day!" For all you die-hard Catholics, this day fits right in with the whole-Lent theme (NOTE: IF you do not know what I am talking about, then yous not in the club homes!) If you are a science geek, like moi, then today is the day to break out your beakers and boil up some concoction, such as love potion for you single ladies (put your hands up!) or a potion to knock-that-nasty-beeotch's-ass-out that racks your last never every day at work. Go ahead, ya know you wantta!
So...
Tomorrow is April Fool's Day. Do you partake in this festival of tom-foolery? Me, I usually stay about, oh 1000 feet away from all the ha-ha'ing! But, today my new router decided to play an early trick on me.
Well...
we have a wireless router for my PC and Carl-E's laptop. This router is a royalest piece of crap in the world. It drops out more than a hooker drop's her nylon-panties for a ten spot. So, after the internet dropped out for the 5th time while I was composing an email, I had had it! I jumped in my ride and headed to the electronic store that did not go out of business, so you know not Circuit City, the other one, with the blue and yellow colors, ya know the one where all the employees wear blue shirts.
I enter...
and I received the mandatory "Hello, how are you?" (NOTE: You know very well the employee that said this could really give a rat's ass how I feel and I can say the feeling was mutual!). So, I stream line towards the computer section on a mission; one new router and one new wireless thingy. I found the aisle and become totally enamored.
There were...
15 billizon different types of routers; N routers, duel band routers, D routers, and XY and Z routers. Now, I am looking for someone to help me, but there is no one around. Maybe the mandatory 11:18 coffee break was in full swing. Then I spy HIM!
I walk...
towards HIM and say, "Can you help me?!" I am asuming the frazzled look plastered across my sans-make-up face gave away that I had no clue of what I am looking at and that I have HUGE circles under my baby blues from no sleep for two days. HIM said, "Sure, what do you need?" So, I went on to explain what I needed and what I currently have. HIM starts into his speel about this router and that router and the other router. Ok, by this point my head hurts from all the techno-mumble-jumble.
So, I ...
stop him by putting up my hand (NOTE: Does this remind you of anyone????) and polietly say, "Please just give me the router and wireless that is one level above basic." With that, he grabbed this and that box and said, "Here you go!". Now how simple was that; oh very!
Next...
I check out with a gleeful smile and sing a little tune all the way home. I get out the disk; insert it into the drive; follow all the directions; and NOTHING! Ok, I de-install the just installed software and repeat, and then repeat again, and again! After 5 times I was about to take the router and disembowel it with one of my new and rarely used serrated edge knifes. So, what does one do when they cannot figure it out; call customer no-service.
I dial...
the number and get Justin. He is a very nice boy (NOTE: He sounded like he was all of 12). However, after 30 minutes of following Justin's advice, I was really starting to loath him, and after 60 minutes, I hated his guts! After clicking this, typing that, disconnecting the blue cord, re-plugging in the gray cord, tapping the box three times while hopping on one foot and humming "Mary Had a Little Lanmb" nothing worked. Almost on the brink of tears, Justin's informs me that it is my internet provider, not the router.
NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I knew it was not becauise I got my PC up and running with the new wireless and the old router. Before I could another word out, he politley says, "Good Bye Carrieann" and hangs up, leaving me broken hearted (NOTE: Like so many men before!).
Well...
now the new router is boxed up and ready to go back. I hooked back up my old router and dealing with the dropping out. But here is the kicker, Carl-E's laptop cannot connect to the internet at all. Whatever Justin had me do with all the secret codes put the whammy on the laptop. Oh well, at least I have internet!
And I am late for a very important date...
with my kitties!
Loves ya!
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