August 27: Look Out!

Ok, tators, I am going to spit some knowledge at ya!

It has been a crazy last few days! Why? Because shee-it keeps fall down!

Last Friday...
I just got home from running. I parked my auto in my driveway; way down at the end. I do this to avoid the Crepe Myrtle that is on Broke-Back Mountian's property, but it leans just enough over my driveway to continuously drops it's blooms on my car. This makes a mucho mess which drives me insane in the membrane!
So, I get in the casa, pet the chats, and sit down to check my email. Then I heard...
CRRRAAACKK; SWOOSH; BOOM!
I knew right away what it was; it was a tree. I jumped up, ran outside, and there I saw it; a branch from my water oak. I just yelled, "Oh F%$K!"

Let's jump back in time...
When I lived in O-Town, I had a water oak smash my new Jeep. Well, it also smashed my neighbor's garage, but that's not the point. The point is that this was the SECOND tree that attacked my car! What's their problem?! Hey, I try to be "green." I use those funny-squiggly light bulbs. I use reusable Publix's bags (NOTE: I have way too many because when I go to Publix and forget my bag, I buy a new one.). They need to get that bug that has crawled up their butt OUT!

Anywho...
I ran to my car. My poor baby was under a twelve foot long and 3 foot in diameter branch. I tried to move the branch, but my super-human strength was on the fritz! My two nice neighbors (NOTE: Actually they are the only two that talk to me.) Came out of their homes because they heard the CRRRAAACKK; SWOOSH; BOOM! I kept pointing at my car, but my neighbor said, "Look at your railing!" The branch totaled my railing to the side door.
To be honest, I did not care. It was my car that I cared about. Between the three of us and a hack saw we removed the branch from my car. I am happy to report that my car only suffered from a few minor scratchs. Nothing some plastic surgery cannot fix. Also, my railing is fixable! I am going to do that as soon as the rain stops!

Speaking of rain...
That's another thing that keeps falling. I am not complaining, because we need the rain BADLY! Hot-Lanta is still in a drought. So, bring on deluge! (NOTE: As much as my railing looks stupid, I am in no rush to fix it, so it can rain from now until the end of September!).

And the last falling item...
MAILBOXES!
This morning, Carl-E came in from his run and called me to the front porch. So, there I am standing on my front porch in my lime-green Nick & Nora pj's and black flops. I was not too happy to be standing outside in my unmentionables, but then Car-E pointed to Broke-Back's mailbox and said, "Look at that!"

Starting with Broke's mailbox about every other one was whacked off their posts. Someone had way too much time on their hands and had a grand olde time knocking boxes down. Luckily, our was a-ok! Too bad they did not knock down Scarlett O'Hanus' mailbox. I know it did not get knocked down, because I checked!

And, I am out of this bee-otch!