August 8: Skirt Culture

Happy Friday! It has cooled of just a teeny-tiny bit, so now instead of it 99 degrees it's 90! Well, I had to do one of the hardest things the other day; buy a swimsuit. I so did not want to do it; I rather buy my handbags from Wal-Mart for the rest of my! I can hear your gasps from here!

Why did I subject myself to this torturous task? Well, Carl-E is diver extraordinar. He has 50 kazillion certifications. He enjoys it very much, and it used to be his "Guy Thing" to do (NOTE: "Guy Thing"= No Wives). Well, it still is a guy thing, but he cannot dive as much, because his girlfriend, Ron lives in Florida.

I was supposed to learn how to dive way-back in the Orlando days, so when we moved to Hot-Lanta he would have someone to dive with, but it did not happen. I must admit it was my fault, because I cannot swim very well. Actually, I suck. I have to hold my nose underwater and my strokes look like a the spastic four year dancing to "Who Let The Dogs Out." When I was a small lady, I never took "official" swimming lessons. My introduction to swimming was my father hurling me off the deck in to the lagoon at my Nanny's shore house while I was wearing my pink one-piece suit with the "Beauty Queen" banner printed across the chest, and a purple dragon inner tube. Despite my father's lessons, and there was many, I never caught on.

Carl's girlfriend's wife taught me about three years ago, but I have not swam since then. Now, Carl-E and I are looking to travel to the land-down-under to climb another mountain. However, while we are their he wants to dive the barrier reef. I have to admit that I want to too, because of all the colorful fish. It will be like swimming in a rainbow!

Well...

I was talking to my trainer about my lack of swimming abilities. She said she would talk to her trainer (NOTE: Yes, my trainer has a trainer!). Well, my trainer emailed me a wonderful gift; her trainer will give me four free lessons! Now, the panic set in. Not the panic about the lessons, but about buying a suit.

The last swimsuit I purchased was probably in 1998; NO LIE! Back in the old-skool days, I went to the beach to bake myself like every other Jersey-girl who was dying to get rid of their pasty-winter-skin. When I moved to Florida, ironically I stopped going to the beach, and I stopped laying out. Now, I have very few wrinkles and no swimsuits!

Back to the subject...
I did not want a two piece; God for bid! I would not subject anyone to that horrid sight! I knew that I really did not want to go and try anything on, because that would be a one-way ticket to Depression Land. So, I surfed the net. I found a site that has tons of options, including the modest suit. I thought, that is what I am looking for, a modest suit to cover my pasty skin. Well, the modest suit was a bit too modest for me; it is basically a burka minus the face cover.

After searching the pieces, I settled on a swim skirt and a top that pretty much looks like a workout shirt. What is a swim skirt you might ask? Well, it looks like a straight mini, but it has bikini bottoms sewn it. Skirts all the rage in women's athletic wear; running, swimming, and softball.

So, tators, I will be swimming in style; on the cutting edge of workout wear (NOTE: This was a total happy accident.). Pleeeze, send happy thoughts to me for my first swim lesson, I am going to totally need it!

And, I am 86!